He'd Want Me To Live
by ShiawasenaKo
Summary: Ed stands at the door of the Colonel, broken and dead to the world. It's up to Roy to find out what happened. OneShot, with a potential to continue. Rated for language, since Ed's such a potty mouth


_I don't own FullMetal Alchemist_. Thoughts are in _Italics_. Another angty one... here we go people!

"Something's different about tonight." The man said, walking slowly along the wet sidewalk. In his left hand, he held a black umbrella, which was shielding his body from the downpour of rain that had started earlier that day. _I would have missed this rain if I hadn't such a workload,_ he thought spitefully. No one wandered the streets in this bitter cold weather. The man ran his right hand through his thick black hair, shaking off his vile thoughts. His jet black eyes looked only forward, as they always did. This man was Colonel Roy Mustang, a respected military man. He was known for his respect of subordinates, and, even at his young age, quick rise up the military ladder. Right now though, he was tired. Roy let a yawn escape his lips. Right now, he honestly just wanted to get home. It was already dark out.

Still something bothered Roy. He couldn't place it, but something was tugging at the back of his mind. After a few tries at cracking the mysterious code, Roy shook the thought from his mind just as he turned the corner, walked up a couple flights of stairs, and faced his apartment door. He fumbled with his keys, and finally made it in. The door always had given him some trouble. The lock had been broken, and he never had the time to fix it. Roy took off his long back coat, hanging it on the coat rack across from his door. He stepped into his bedroom and changed into a pair of khakis and a white t-shirt.

After fixing himself a little something to eat, Roy sat down in a chair and turned on the radio. He could finally relax. This was something he very much so enjoyed after a long days work. Of that, jazz was always his favorite, and luckily, there was some on right now. Roy leaned back and let a small smile cross his face. He closed his eyes, letting the melody float into his ears. He didn't notice himself drift into a light sleep.

A knock on his door made him sit up quite suddenly. He was disoriented at first and wobbled as he turned to the side, flipping the switch on his radio. The melody was sucked from the room. Roy stood and walked towards the door. He took a glance at the clock. 12:14 in the morning? Finally, Roy opened the door, and standing there, a young man stood. His blonde hair was dripping, and his clothes, a red coat, black pants, and black shirt, looked dirty and tattered. His head was down, eyes pointed at the floor Roy recognized the boy in an instant, and opened the door fully to address him. He hesitated for a moment.

"Fullmetal?" he questioned. The boy didn't move. He just stood in the doorframe of the colonel, letting the rain further soak him. Ed suddenly didn't know what to do, what to say, or even why he was there, of all places. He couldn't answer his own questions. Was it simply that he was lost and confused? Ed didn't even really remember looking up the colonel's address. He had never been here before. His mind jumped from subject to subject so quickly, Ed couldn't even keep up… Then again, there was really only one thing on Ed's mind…

Alphonse…

Roy watched the boy start to shake faintly. At this moment, he knew something was wrong. Something had happened. Obviously, Ed wasn't going to say anything. Roy stepped outside, and behind the boy. He placed his hand on Edward's back, and began to push forward just slightly to nudge him inside.

At that moment though, Ed turned around abruptly, grabbing the Colonel's forearm with his automail hand. He hadn't even noticed the man step behind him. It was now that Roy finally got to see Edward's face. Before now, there was always something there. Whether it was anger, determination, depression, or happiness, Roy could always read it, but now, there was nothing. His eyes were blank, and the wideness of them gave Roy the hint that he'd scared the boy.

It took Ed a moment to realize who it was, and as he stared intently, he slowly loosened his grip on Roy's arm. He put his eyes back to the floor, and let the emptiness devour him again him. Roy watched the boy carefully. The only sound behind them was the pattering of the rain on the ground and wind carrying through the sky. Even through all of that, Roy heard one more thing besides the rain and wind. It was Ed's voice, just above a whisper, and raspy and strained.

"I fucked up Colonel."

Roy didn't have time to ask the boy what he meant, because his eyelids suddenly became heavy, and he fell forward into Roy's chest. Unsure entirely of what to do, Roy draped Ed's arm over his shoulders and brought him inside. He was soaking wet. Roy leaned him up against the wall and removed his coat, heavy with water. With no other place to put it, and balancing Edward with his other hand, he dropped it on the ground. He then carried the smaller boy to the couch and laid him down. There was still a problem. Ed was still wet. He'd get sick of Roy let him lie there in wet cold clothing. He didn't really want to change the boy. A thought had struck the colonel. He reached over on the table, and picked up one of his white gloves. By controlling the air, he heated it up to a temperature that wouldn't burn, but would be warm enough to dry the boy, and also warm him up a little. It did take him a little longer though. Edward did not move throughout this ordeal. He was still, and looked troubled.

Roy set his glove one the table. _I wonder if he's feverish_. Roy placed his wrist against the boy's forehead. He was a little warm. Probably for being soaked so long. _Washcloth_, the Colonel thought. He stood, and went to the kitchen, retrieving a cold cloth to place on the boy's brow.

Roy took a seat on the very end of the couch. He was lucky; Fullmetal only took up two couch places. He let out a sigh and watched the boy. What could have happened to put him in this sorry state? Part of Roy wanted to wake him, although the other part reasoned that he probably wouldn't wake up for a while. Whatever sleep he could get would be the best with a fever. He was concerned though.

So, the Colonel watched and waited, for what seemed to be forever. Slowly, his eyelids started to become heavy. He shook his head. _No,_ he scolded himself, _he might need me._ However, with such a long day, and what was turning into a long night, Roy couldn't fight off the onslaught of sleep. He was on the wire. The thin wire between sleep and awake. He felt himself falling into the numbness, but a sudden screaming threw him out of it. His eyes snapped open ant quickly moved to Edward. He was sitting up, eyes wide with terror.

"Alphonse! No! Give him back you fucking bastards! Give him back! Give him back to me, damn it! AL!" he screamed. He didn't seem to know where he was, or even that he was awake. Edward wasn't there at all. Not in his mind, at least. He was right back where he was before he came to the Colonel, screaming for his brother.

Roy was up in an instant, trying to calm the boy. Nothing he tried was able to snap him out of his screaming state. Thinking on his toes, Roy grabbed the boy, pulling him into his arms, tightly holding him to his chest. Edward flailed about.

"Let me go you fuckers! Give me back my little brother! Let go! Al! Alphonse!" The Colonel would, however, not let go. He held onto the shaking boy, getting punched and kicked at, but that didn't matter. Edward's moves started to slow. He was slowly running out of energy. By then, his voice had diminished to a quieter tone.

"I'm sorry, Al… I'm so sorry. I'm sorry. Alphonse…"

The boy started to quake underneath the strong arms of the Colonel. He seemed to be coming to his senses, realizing exactly where he was, and who was holding onto him so tightly. Roy did not speak. He wasn't sure of what to say.

"Colonel…"

"What is it? What happened to you?"

"I failed… We thought we had it… but it backfired… They took Al… as a payment… I passed out, and when I came back…" he broke off. This was obviously traumatic on the boy.

Roy was silent. They had tried to get back their bodies, and failed? All the work… all the pain, all the tears, all the people… All of this was in vain, now? Completely worthless? Roy tightened his grip around the boy.

"When I woke up… Al was gone… and it was too late. I can't get him back. I tried everything, but I can't."

This wasn't something Roy was familiar with. This was what they call the Gate, he speculated. The two of them were silent for a long time, Edward laying silent in Roy's arms. It was the Colonel who spoke next.

"Edward."

He got no reply, but he could tell that the silence gave him permission to speak.

"Did you cry?"

"No."

"Why not?"

"The guilt's too overwhelming… If I cry… It just shows I feel sorry for myself, not Al… and I swear, I will never disgrace him. Besides…"

There was another pause. Edward seemed to be choosing his words.

"Even though I did this… Even though it's my fault Al's gone… He'd want me to live."


End file.
